


Disproportionate Retribution

by SoftIceCream



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Blackmail, Bullying, Dubious Consent, Dwight is not a good person in this fic y’all, Emotional Manipulation, Evil Dwight, F/M, M/M, Obsession, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Ruining Someone’s Life Because You Can, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:39:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoftIceCream/pseuds/SoftIceCream
Summary: Dwight would find his behavior cute, if it weren’t so annoying. It’s time for retribution.He takes it too far.





	1. Dwight

**Author's Note:**

> This story isn't beta'd. Lemme know if you see any mistakes.

When Dwight got a new desk mate he was eager to take the young man under his wing. Dwight had always fancied himself a good mentor, and now he’d have the chance to prove himself by showing James Halpert the ropes. Who else but him, the Assistant Regional Manager? He shot a smile at Angela, the cute blonde from accounting. He hoped that she’d be impressed by his power and influence, two things he currently had, and two things she loved.

 

James was young, barely out of college. He listened to everything Dwight told him, even when he contradicted himself. Dwight found the boy to be meek, keeping to himself most days. He was the youngest person in the office, younger than Dwight by at least ten years, so it was to be expected. He initially had problems transitioning into the job but after two weeks of training he was able to make his first successful cold call without Dwight listening in on the other line.

 

The next day James—or Jim, as he preferred to be called— brought him a gift. “Here,” he said, thrusting the package at Dwight, “thanks for all the help over the last couple of weeks. It couldn’t have been easy.”

 

Dwight opened it. It was a bottle of expensive scotch, one of his favorite brands. “Thank you,” Dwight replied, “I'll enjoy it a lot.” He would, he’d enjoy it greatly after his date with Angela tonight. Jim smiled at him and went back to work.

 

* * *

 

Dwight was an astute man. He noticed the change in Jim’s demeanor over the past few months, shifting from a shy newcomer to more of a rambunctious prankster. All of his pranks were targeted at Dwight, ranging from innocent, harmless jokes to elaborate, sometimes dangerous spectacles. He was positive Jim wasn't trying to harm him, no. Jim wanted his attention, something Dwight didn’t care to give him since he only cared about Angela. Dwight was astute, and he noticed something big.

 

Jim had a crush on him.

 

Dwight laughed, because of course he did. Who wouldn’t like him? He was a powerful alpha male who'd one day be the manager of this place. Of course he’d catch the attention of the two most objectively attractive people in the office, of course they’d be into his strong personality. Jim was a cute kid, and if Dwight were interested in men he’d show the boy the time of his life. But he only had eyes for Angela, and Jim’s provocations were getting in the way of Dwight’s goal. Dwight would find his behavior cute, if it weren’t so annoying. Instead it irritated him to no end, Jim’s proverbial pigtail pulling. So Dwight ignored him even more, causing Jim to act out more, just like the child he was. Dwight could put a stop to it and tell Jim to beat it. But Dwight liked knowing that he had even an exiguous amount of power over someone.

 

One of Jim’s pranks infuriated Dwight to the point that he saw red. It was harmless enough, a paint bomb inside of Dwight’s desk. When he went to open his drawer he was sprayed by a mist of pink paint. The entire office laughed, the first time Jim’s drawn that reaction from them. But what pissed him off the most was the look Angela gave him. She sneered at him and called him weak. It made Dwight want to kill Jim.

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Jim told him, genuine in his delivery. He looked a bit surprised at Dwight’s reaction, because mostly, up until this point, Dwight ignored his pranks. He stared the younger man down causing Jim to cower. If Jim wanted Dwight to play, then he’d play. And Jim would come to regret it. Despite Jim thinking he knew how this game would end, he didn’t. All of the cards were in Dwight’s hands, and he'd let it play out the way he wanted.

 

He wrote down a list of some of Jim’s crazier pranks, including this one, exaggerated them a bit, and submitted a complaint to Toby. He knew Toby wouldn't actually submit them to corporate, for that took effort that he hadn't put forth in a while. But he’d have something to hold over Jim’s head later, when he was ready to cash in all of his misfortune to screw the young man over.

 

* * *

 

It was full year before the two go on a joint sales call. Dwight devised the “Handsome and Stinky Shrupert” persona for them. “That’s stupid,” Jim said, but Dwight could see the affection in his eyes. Disgusting. Jim wore his heart on his sleeve, and Dwight would make sure it would come back to hurt him.

 

After the sales call Dwight directed them to the nearest bar instead of back to the office. It didn’t take much to get Jim drunk, it didn’t seem that he learned to hold his liquor yet. Three shots and a beer later and Jim was ready to spill his deepest secret to Dwight. He decided to toy with Jim before coercing a confession out of him.

 

“Is it just you and your mom,” Dwight asked. Jim nodded, eyes starting to glaze over from all of the alcohol. Dwight smirked, he was still sober and had the upper hand. “Is she a doctor or a nurse?”

 

Jim looked at him as suspiciously as he could muster. “She’s a nurse, how do you know that?”

 

“Just a guess. No father, and a mother who’s gone more often than not. That’s why you seek approval from older men around you. Me, Stanley, Oscar, Toby, sometimes even Michael. You’re looking for that fatherly love you lacked as a child, and you’re looking towards me for it. Or maybe you’re just looking for a _daddy_ ,” Dwight said, smirking down at Jim.

 

“Be quiet,” Jim snapped and Dwight laughed in his face.

 

“I don’t want to. Do you like me, little Jimmy,” Dwight pinched both of Jim’s cheeks, slowly applying pressure so it’d hurt. He stopped when he saw Jim’s eyes sobering up, and instead elected to order him another drink. He held it to Jim’s lips and forced him to drink. “You didn’t answer me,” he tried again, now sure Jim was sufficiently wasted. Jim nodded, his chin repeatedly hitting his chest. “I’ll take you home with me, but you listen to what I say, alright?” He didn't wait for a response and pulled Jim up by his underarms, hauling him out of the bar.

 

He fucked Jim roughly that night, no doubt in his mind that it was Jim’s first time. He didn’t care. If he wanted someone to treat him well then he should have looked elsewhere.

 

In the morning he called Jim a taxi and told him to not speak about the night before. Jim, red eyed and disoriented, nodded. They ignored each other at work later that day, Jim sticking to the new, mousy haired secretary who’s similar in age to him, and Dwight to Angela.

 

He looked down at her, positive he could bed her. When he did he was gentle with her, different than he was with Jim. She was a nice woman, and Jim was a little boy who liked to play games. Now he’d have to play Dwight’s.

 

* * *

 

He continued to fuck Jim over the next year and a half, keeping it secret from Angela, and Angela a secret from Jim. He was sweet and gentle with Angela, going slowly with her, doing nothing she didn't want to do. With Jim however it was about the control he had over the younger man. He'd take him roughly, tie him up, whip him. They’ve had sex in  public spaces before, something Jim _hated,_ the younger man thoroughly uncomfortable every time he came. Jim hated tough treatment, eyes watering every time Dwight pulled his hair or slapped his behind. He cried the first time Dwight tied him up and blindfolded him, afraid of the vulnerability and Dwight’s vindictive streak. In these insistence Dwight would coo at him and rub his head to placate him. Jim had every right to be afraid of Dwight and what he’d potentially do to him. He was sure he’d ruined sex for Jim, ruined him for other people, but he didn't care. That was Jim’s problem alone.

 

Sometimes he took pictures of Jim in compromising positions. Jim riding Dwight’s dick while blindfolded, Jim taking Dwight from behind, Jim with a ball gag in his mouth, Jim on his knees in a rest stop bathroom, covered in his and Dwight’s cum. He took them without Jim knowing, without his consent. That was much better than blackmailing Jim with his dumb pranks, and much more harmful. Dwight liked wielding his control over the boy, but soon he would grow tired of him and want him out of the picture. He’d have enough ammo for when that time came.

 

* * *

 

He still allowed Jim to prank him, to keep some level of normalcy at the office. He told Jim that it was their version of foreplay, and the more elaborate the prank then the better he’d treat Jim during sex. Jim dumbly believed him, because he’d listen to anything Dwight said. It was probably the only thing that made Jim happy in their relationship because he was sure the boy was physically repulsed by him at this point. He let Jim have his little pranks, his fleeting moments of dominance over him. Dwight smirked and continued to lodge complaints that Toby would never file.  Jim’s file must have been big, and the thought of such a robust form of blackmail pleased Dwight.

 

Sometimes they’d sneak as far away from the cameras as they could get. He’d cup Jim’s face in his hands, pull him close, and come _really_ close to kissing him. He doesn’t. Jim would always fall for it, still wearing his bleeding heart on his sleeve. Dwight never kissed him, not even during sex. Those sweet kisses were reserved for sweet Angela and not dumb Jim, who never wised up and was still too far in over his head. Dwight vaguely wondered if Jim still thought this was a game he could win, or if he now knew he lost the moment he pulled that prank on Dwight.

 

* * *

 

One night Dwight allowed Jim to stay with him instead of kicking him out like usual. It was then that Jim told Dwight that he loved him. Jim _still_ wore his cracked heart on his sleeve, and still inexplicably trusted Dwight even though he’d done nothing but hurt him. Jim loved him and was a giant dummy. It was easy to play someone who’d never loved anyone else before, and that made the game sweeter.

 

“Say it again,” Dwight said, this time openly filming Jim. He tried covering his face, but Dwight removed his hand. “I love you,” Jim said, looking away from the phone. Dwight repeated it back, not meaning it. If anything, he hated Jim. Absolutely hated him. He hated Jim for daring to like him, for daring to prank him, for making Angela momentarily doubt him, for daring to be good at his job, and for getting their coworkers to like him when they didn’t like Dwight. Dwight needed to destroy Jim.

 

Jim smiled up at him, believing him, like he always did.

 

* * *

 

Dwight had done a lot of awful things to Jim, but this one was the vilest. He called Jim over under the guise of needing help and when Jim arrived Todd Packer and Mose were both waiting for him.

 

Whenever he heard Jim scream he pretended he didn't. That was Jim’s problem and his alone.

 

* * *

 

Dwight fucked Angela in his barn. She wanted to be adventurous, and he wanted to please her. Dwight loved this woman and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. So he texted Jim and told him to come to his barn. He wanted the younger man to walk in on them, to take a hint and leave. He’d hurt Jim in so many creative ways that a simple break up text felt pedestrian.

 

Jim did exactly as planned, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Dwight’s sweaty body on top of Angela’s. He backed away slowly, before running out of the barn. Dwight didn't run after him. He had more pressing matters to attend to.

 

“Angela, will you do me the pleasure of becoming my wife,” he asked her, still thrusting into her, driving her over the edge.

 

“Yes,” she screamed, and Dwight smirked. Once finished he ushered his fiancée inside of his house and watched as she fell asleep. He jumped into his car and drove to Jim’s place. He let himself in with a key Jim dumbly gave him. 

 

He found Jim huddled in on himself, crying. Jim spotted him and threw his table side lamp at him. Dwight dodged it and watched it hit the hallway wall. Irate, Dwight advanced on Jim and grabbed him by the neck. He surprised both of them since never being _physically_ violent towards Jim. He preferred the more unconventional mind games.

 

“We’re done,” he told Jim, and the younger man nodded as much as a hand on his throat would allow. Dwight watched in amazement as the light left Jim's eyes. He finally crushed his heart, his spirit, leaving Jim as nothing. He let Jim go and left; his woman was probably waiting for him.

 

* * *

 

Jim was withdrawn and quiet for the next couple of weeks. Pam attempted to cheer him up by pranking him in Jim's steed but it never worked. He barely worked, losing clients rapidly. He looked tired all of the time, and quickly began wittering away from malnutrition. _It's what he deserves_  Dwight thought, although he couldn't remember what Jim did to actually deserve it, it’d been so long.

 

It was Oscar of all people who brought an end to Jim Halpert at Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch. He complained to Michael about his baby’s baby poster, causing him to look through the complaint box, and in turn find numerous complaints by him against Jim. Jim didn’t even look shocked by this, perhaps having expected Dwight to pull something like this. Or maybe he was too mentally beaten to really care; it was probably the latter. Now Dwight had Jim looking like a villain in front of the entire office and Jim silently took it. Michael ushered them into his office.

 

“I want Jim to transfer,” he said, and watched as Jim shrunk into himself. Upon further inspection he could see bruises on Jim’s neck, undoubtedly left by him a few weeks ago. He could feel his blood rushing. This was the moment he’d been waiting for, to see Jim lose the game he so desperately tried to challenge Dwight in.

 

“No.” Dwight turned to look at Jim. He was looking ahead, starting at Michael apathetically. “Why should I leave?”

 

“Well, I won’t make you. I like you here, kid,” Michael said to Jim before exiting the office to attend to a shouting Angela and Oscar. The camera crew followed him, leaving only the two of them in the office. Once Michael was gone Dwight got up to close the blinds of the office. He switched his mic off and gestured for Jim to do the same.

 

“Why did you do that Dwight, do you hate me _that_ much,” Jim asked, referring to the complaint box. They were together for most of the complaints, and Dwight could see the gears turning in Jim’s head. He must have realized that he was set up. Dwight snorted and pulled out his cell phone. If the complaints weren't enough to get Jim to leave, then he had other methods.

 

“Yes. I despise you, Halpert. I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out.”

 

“Why? You told me to prank you, that you found it _hot._ Was it so you could report me, seriously?”

 

“Yes. And you fell for it, dumb ass.”

 

“You told me you love me….”

 

“It was a lie,” Dwight said coldly.

 

“And…all those things...Todd Packer…,” Jim doubled over and started to dry heave. _Good thing for that he’s not eating_ , Dwight thinks sardonically, _because he’d make a mess of Michael’s office_.

 

“Because I hate you,” Dwight confirmed. “Leave.”

 

“I don’t want to, my whole life is here—.”

 

“I was your whole life, door knob, and I no longer want you. So leave.” Dwight showed Jim his phone, containing all of the pictures of Jim performing lewd acts on him, and Packer, and Mose. He showed Jim the video of him telling Dwight he loves him. He played it over and over, just to taunt Jim. Jim started hacking again, but nothing came out.

 

“When did you takes these?!”

 

“Every time we were together. You’re quite pretty when you’re all tied up and begging for my cock, but only then. You should really leave, unless you want me to distribute these to everyone in this office, and your homophobic mother. I’ll delete them if you do.”

 

Michael reentered the office right then, and Jim jumped at the opportunity to transfer. Michael is perplexed that Jim did a one eighty in five minutes, but helped him file the transfer papers anyways. Jim would be gone by the end of the week, so he spent the rest of the day with Michael and a confused Pam looking for apartments in Stamford.

 

* * *

 

That Friday Dwight brought his MacBook into the office and deleted Jim’s pictures from his phone, computer, and cloud. Jim was relieved, and exited the office saying goodbye to no one but Pam and Michael.

 

Even when the game was over, Dwight sought to win. He already saved all of Jim’s pictures to an external drive. Jim was dumb to think it’d be that easy.

 

* * *

 

Eight months later and Dwight was still engaged to Angela. Sweet Angela gave him everything he desired, except the passionate, burning sex he took from Jim. He didn’t think it would be possible, but he missed Jim. He missed fucking Jim, and most importantly, he missed fucking with Jim.

 

Dwight drove to Stamford to see what Jim was up to. He expected the boy to be a mess following his spectacular crash and burn. Instead he found Jim outside the Stamford offices kissing another man. Dwight later asked the Stamford production staff who he was, and apparently he was Josh Porter, the young manager of the Stamford branch. Everyone was so excited that Jim finally decided to date someone. After following him for two years they never saw Jim show any interest in dating, outside of occasionally flirting with Pam. They were beginning to worry he’d never find anyone. Dwight snorted, _if they only knew_. When he got home he found Josh’s address and sent the pictures to him. He wrote “Jim’s a whore” on the back of all of them, just to get the point across. As far as Dwight was concerned Jim had no right to be happy.

 

* * *

 

A month later saw Michael and Dwight attending a convention in Philadelphia for those in the office supply industry. Dwight spotted Jim meekly hanging off of Josh’s arm. He was infuriated that they were still together, even after the pictures. While Jim didn’t look particularly happy, or even _good,_ he didn’t look miserable and that was enough rile Dwight up. He broke away from Michael and walked over to them.

 

“Jim, it’s good to see you,” Dwight said mockingly and watched Jim recoil in fear. It warmed Dwight to know that he still had some power over Jim. He must have told Josh about him, because next thing Dwight knew he’s laid out in his back, face throbbing where Josh punched him. He pulled Jim away before security came, running to the side of the hotel where the rooms were. Dwight smirked behind his bloodied teeth, He wasn’t done with Jim yet, far from it. Not until he was all alone in this world with nothing but fear to accompany him would Dwight leave him alone.

 

He downloaded copies of Josh’s resume off of LinkedIn and distributed them to different companies at the convention. The man was impressive and Dwight had to begrudging admit that he was better than himself, which meant he was way more than Jim deserved. He hoped to hear in the next few weeks that Josh received an offer and had left Jim, and to hear that the boy was completely miserable.

 

He later saw Jim at Michael’s “party”, sharing a tender moment with the man. _How sweet_ thought Dwight. It was sweet that Jim tried to hold onto some semblance of a relationship with people from Scranton. He shouldn’t, not when Dwight had access to those people. He went and printed paper copies of the pictures and stuck them underneath Michael’s door. He wouldn’t think highly of the little whore after that.

 

He taped a note to the room he’s sure Josh (and Jim) is in. _Have fun with your whore_ was all it read. He went back to his room where he was surprised by his fiancee. He couldn't focus on her however, thoughts consumed with nothing but Jim.

 

* * *

 

It doesn’t happen the way Dwight wanted it to. Josh did get an offer, and at Staples, in corporate, of all places. He was leaving Dunder Mifflin after a meteoric five years, and he was taking Jim with him. Dwight was shocked that someone would want Jim that badly, even after finding out what a worthless whore he is, and only after dating him for seven months.

 

He though about how happy Jim probably was. Dwight had only been able crack him, not fully damage him like he wanted. This Josh kid waltzed in and filled in Jim’s cracks with caulk, and now he'd get happily ever after as a housewife or whatever the hell the fucktoy of a corporate exec was. He felt rage that Jim could potentially be happy, and he didn’t understand why. He had been doing this for so long that he could no longer remember what Jim did to set him off. _That makes two of us_ he thought bitterly; he was sure Jim never knew.

 

He was so consumed by thoughts of Jim that he didn’t notice his own relationship deteriorating. By the end of the month Angela called their engagement off, no longer wanting to deal with the distance and mean man. Angela found an accounting job in Pittsburgh and left two weeks later.

 

* * *

 

Dwight learned that Jim stayed in contact with both Pam and Michael. He mentioned nothing about his relationship with Dwight to them, but everything about his relationship with Josh.

 

Apparently he was engaged now. The thought burned Dwight up, that Jim could be happy when Dwight wasn’t.

 

He had an engagement gift for Jim though.

 

He mailed copies of the photos to Jim’s mother, a nice woman who also hated gay people. Jim confided to him once that he’d never come out to her; she was all he had and it’d break his heart in ways Dwight couldn’t if she disowned him. Dwight couldn't imagine that anything has changed.

 

He expected Jim to choose his mother over Josh and leave him. He'd come back to Scranton, jobless, heartbroken, and weak enough to run back to Dwight. Dwight may not have ended up with his dream girl, but he’d get dumb Jim, who wasn't too bad of a consolation prize.

 

* * *

 

What he didn’t expect is for Jim to kill himself. He gets buried with the engagement and wedding rings Josh bought for him, and without his mother present.

 

The entire office was saddened by the news; the Stamford branch had been combined with the Scranton one, so most people had worked with him in some capacity. Pam said Jim had been clinically depressed for the last year or so, right before he left Scranton, but he never confided in her what the issue was. Dwight knew he had been down for longer, because he was the one who made him feel so hopeless. Pam, Michael, Karen, Andy and a few others attend his funeral, but Dwight didn’t. He knew he wouldn’t be welcome. He was pretty sure Michael knew he sent him those pictures of Jim, that he’s been bullying Jim from afar, to his death. If he did then he didn’t say anything. There was no doubt in his mind that Josh knew, and that he’d be seeking some sort of justice for Jim later on.

 

Dwight won his game, but he doesn't know if it were worth the cost of a human life. He laughed to himself though, because he broke Josh’s heart, even if that wasn’t the plan. And he stopped Jim’s, even if he wasn’t trying to _actually_ kill him.

  
_Oh well_ Dwight thought, _it was all Jim’s fault anyway_.


	2. Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim’s perspective of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story isn’t beta read so let me know if you see mistakes!
> 
> Trigger warning for domestic abuse, implied rape, and suicide attempts.
> 
> Edited: 9/17/19 (too many tense changes, and wanted to make consistent for future sequel.)

Jim got a job at Dunder Mifflin before he graduated. It wasn't anything fancy, but it paid well enough and kept him local. He could stay around and help his mom, who hadn't been the same since his dad died. The guy he interviewed with, Michael Scott, seemed cool enough, although a bit weird. Overall he was excited to start.

 

He didn't have a graduation party because he couldn't afford it. His best friend had one, and his hippy dippy girlfriend was there doing palm readings and telling fortunes. Jim gave her his hand and waited for her assessment. She squinted at him and said, "first loves don't always have to be final. It isn't suppose to hurt. Always remember that." He pulled his hand away and walked off. He told himself that he'd try to remember, but forgot it before the night was over. He told his friend goodbye and headed home; he started work the next day and didn't want to be late.

 

* * *

 

Michael had a man named Dwight train him. He was older than Jim for sure, but not as old as Michael, and definitely not as old as that creepy guy Creed in the corner. Jim couldn't help but find Dwight very handsome in his own way. He was patient with Jim, who really sucked at his job, and tried to help him with inventory reports and cold calls. Sometimes Dwight would say things that confused Jim, something contradictory. He listened anyway because he didn't know a thing about the job (and mostly because he liked the sound of Dwight's voice). Dwight would occasionally guide Jim's hands by grabbing them and taking them into his own callused ones. When he wanted to show Jim something he'd tilt Jim's head in the direction he wanted him to look, his fingers resting under Jim's chin and jaw. Jim could feel his heart beating fast whenever that happened, but wasn't sure why. 

 

Once training was over Jim bought Dwight an expensive bottle of scotch using the money he gotten from his friends and family after graduation. It wasn't a good investment of his money but he hoped Dwight would be impressed nonetheless.

 

“Here,” Jim said, thrusting the package at Dwight, “thanks for all the help over the last couple of weeks. It couldn’t have been easy.”

 

“Thanks, I’ll enjoy it a lot.” For some reason that made Jim happier than the day he graduated.

 

* * *

 

Jim would be lying if he said he didn't have a crush on Dwight. He had been at Dunder Mifflin for a couple of months, and whenever he wasn't working he found himself paying attention to Dwight. Unfortunately Dwight didn't pay him any mind, he hadn't since training ended.

 

Jim pulled out old prank books his father left for him before he died. They used to pull pranks on each other when he was little, Jim never executing them correctly, but still having fun. It was a way to show affection for them. Jim still played harmless pranks on his mom, but they reminded her more of his dad than anything else so he did them infrequently as to not hurt her already broken heart.

 

Jim pulled the simpler ones on Dwight. He wanted his attention, not to harm him. When those failed and Dwight continued to ignored him Jim tried more elaborate ones. Those failed too.

 

He found a Valentine's Day prank via Google. He ordered the materials from Amazon: a small toy bomb containing pink Holi powder, glitter, and heart shaped confetti. He got to work early and put it in Dwight's desk. It would go off when he opened it.

 

When it did go off the powder was more wet and paint like than expected and Jim could tell he ruined Dwight's clothes. Everyone in the office laughed and cheered at Dwight's misery which wasn't the reaction Jim wanted. Angela came and whispered something in Dwight's ear before stomping out of the office, leaving the irate man behind. Dwight was pissed, Jim could tell, and he was more pissed than he had ever been at any of Jim's other pranks.

 

"Happy Valentine's Day," Jim tried, hoping Dwight could tell he was being genuine. Dwight didn't respond and instead looked at Jim with burning hatred. It burns so bright that Jim vaguely wondered if he should fear Dwight. But then it was gone and Dwight gave him a predatory smile that showed all of his teeth. He left and didn't come back for the rest of the day.

 

He's made a mistake, Jim realized. He planned to keep his pranks simple from now on, because after all, he still liked Dwight.

 

* * *

 

He'd been at Dunder Mifflin for a year before he and Dwight go on a joint sales call. Dwight told him they would adopt the pseudonyms "Handsome and Stinky Shrupert" for the sale. "That's dumb," Jim said even though he couldn't help but smile. It was actually kind of cute.

 

After the call Dwight took him to a bar. And after that….

 

Jim didn't remember much, actually. He woke up at Dwight's farm feeling very hungover and very confused. He was naked and his backside hurt; he could tell he lost his virginity to Dwight the night before. He just wasn't sure how he ended up there.

 

Dwight ordered him a taxi and told Jim not to tell anyone at work about the night before. But who would he tell? Everyone else was much older than him with the exceptions of Kelly, who he avoided, and Pam, the receptionist who started a few weeks back. He liked Pam well enough but wasn't close enough to her to tell her that he had painful sex with Dwight. So he nodded.

 

Dwight ignored him at work later, electing to chat up Angela instead. It hurt Jim because he never figured he'd be one for casual sex, so he wanted to make something out of it. It didn't take long for that to happen. Two days later Dwight texted him and soon he found himself back at Dwight's farmhouse, on his knees, giving his first blowjob.

 

* * *

 

They had been "dating" for the past year and a half. No one knew though because a camera crew came into Scranton a month after they started having sex and Dwight made it clear he didn't want the documentary team to catch anything between them. Jim agreed, telling Dwight about his mom. He loved her, and she him, but he was scared that would change if she found out he gay. So they kept it a secret.

 

Jim loved Dwight so much. Jim loved everything about Dwight, even when he knew he logically shouldn't. Jim never felt that way about anyone and he found the feeling to be really intense. Due to his blinding adoration of his boyfriend Jim often found himself in situations where he allowed Dwight to walk all over him, like when Dwight tried tying him up during sex and blindfolding him. Jim broke down and told him  _no_ , that he didn't like it, but somehow he found himself in that position more often than not. Jim hated it, he hated the rough sex they often had because it caused him much more pain than it did pleasure. But Dwight loved it and Jim loved Dwight, so he went along with it.

 

Once, they decided to take a road trip to the Poconos. Jim wanted to call it a date but really he had just convinced Dwight to spare some time for him outside of the bedroom. He could never seem to do that for Jim. Dwight stopped at a truck stop along the highway and told Jim to get out. Jim knew from experience where this was headed.

 

"Dwight, no. I've already told you I don't like doing it in public!" Jim didn't share Dwight's kinks; he didn't really have any. Not that it ever matter. Dwight loved shit like fucking in public and Jim in turn allowed Dwight to do whatever he wanted.

 

Dwight turned the car off and stepped out. He locked the door behind him and sat on the bench in front of the gas station. Jim raised his eyebrow at him. His boyfriend could be a dick when he wanted to be. He could wait all he wanted because Jim wasn’t having sex in a dirty truck stop restroom.

 

So he waited.

 

And waited.

 

It was hot outside and Dwight left the windows up, and Jim couldn’t roll them down without turning the car on with the keys. Jim felt dehydrated, but he wouldn’t give Dwight the satisfaction of seeing him sweat (figuratively and literally). He tried calling for an Uber, but his phone had no signal. Jim bit his lip. Maybe Dwight would get tired of this.

 

He didn’t.

 

Jim did.

 

He felt humiliated and dirty. They never made it to the Poconos; Dwight turned back around took him home. Jim sat in his shower for hours, trying to scrub the filth off.

 

He couldn’t.

 

* * *

 

Dwight told Jim he thought it was sexy when he pranked him. He liked the more elaborate pranks, the ones Jim had to plan out. He called it public foreplay and that he'd fuck Jim according to how much effort went into the pranks. The more hardcore the prank was the easier he went on Jim at night. Jim was confused because none of that made any sense but complied with Dwight's wishes. Anything that made him happy made Jim happy, especially if it mean he didn't have to be flogged or have his nipples clamped.

 

* * *

 

"Psst, Jim," Pam exaggeratedly called, waving Jim over to reception. He went and leaned over the desk to listen to Pam. "I think Dwight and Angela are dating!" That's the last thing Jim wanted to hear. Dwight was supposed to be dating him _._ Pam pointed to the meeting room where Dwight and Angela were huddled together, Dwight's hand resting on the small of Angela's back. Jim's heart hurt. 

 

“Ehh, I don’t think that’s a sign that they’re dating. Probably just friends,” he mumbled.

 

Pam shook her head. “I saw them kissing, Jim, like last week. And I think they sneak off to have sex on their breaks!”

 

Jim smiled tightly. "Oh, well good for them," he said. It sucked to find out you were being cheated on from someone who didn't even know you were dating the cheating party. Jim sat back at his desk and pretended to work.

 

Dwight came out of the meeting room an hour later and asked Jim to "take a walk with him". They got two blocked away from Dunder Mifflin before Dwight took Jim's face into his hands and leaned in to kiss him. He stopped short like he always did, and Jim didn't know why expected Dwight to kiss him. They had been dating for a year and a half and Dwight had never kissed him. Jim knew that wasn't normal and he felt stupid now. He started to reevaluate their relationship in light of what he learned. He wondered if Dwight was two timing him with Angela, or if he was the other person in all this. 

 

Jim wasn't sure what to do so he pretended not to know.

 

* * *

 

It was pouring rain hard outside and Dwight was generous enough to allow Jim to stay over instead of kicking him out (another sign that something was amiss in their relationship). They just had sex and while Dwight seemed thoroughly satisfied Jim felt hollow. If he were to be honest he couldn't remember the last time he enjoyed sex with Dwight. He was at the point where he didn't even enjoy masturbating. He hated it all. The sex, the humiliation, the cheating. He wasn't even sure why he was still there.

 

Well, he did. It was because he loved Dwight, although he wasn't sure why anymore.

 

"Dwight," Jim called softly. He didn't want to interrupt the older man from his post sex cigarette.

 

“Hmm?”

 

"I...I love you." It was true, Jim did love Dwight. Even after the way Dwight treated him Jim loved him. But he never said it aloud before, afraid Dwight would mock him (and what did that say about their relationship Jim wondered).

 

Dwight reached for his cell phone and started to film Jim. Jim covered his face, mostly because he was covered in Dwight's bodily fluids, but also because he couldn't believe this was Dwight's reaction to what he said. Dwight pulled his hand away. "Say it again," he demanded, and maybe he just wanted to save the moment? So Jim repeated it. Dwight smiled down at him and said, "I love you too, Jim."

 

They shouldn't but the words made Jim feel high. Maybe their relationship could work now that they vocalized their love for one another. Jim smiled at Dwight, believing his every word.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't often Dwight asked Jim for a favor. While he never explicitly stated it Jim got the feeling that Dwight found him to be incompetent. He wasn't sure why as he never had trouble doing anything save for the first couple of weeks after he started. So Jim went to Dwight's house, excited to help.

 

When he arrived he was surprised to see Todd Packer there, along with Mose and Dwight. Dwight guided him to sit down. "Jim," Dwight asked sweetly, "are you still able to help me?" Jim was suddenly afraid, all of the sirens in his head going off. He nodded despite himself.

 

“Good. I’ve lost a poker match with Packer and Mose. I didn’t have any money—.”

 

“Do you want me to pay? I can go to the ATM.” Jim wanted nothing more than to leave.

 

“No, don’t interrupt me. Instead I bet you, but just for one night. Could you service them for me? I promise they won’t hurt you.” Dwight gripped Jim’s arms tightly so he couldn't run away. Jim could see how cold Dwight's eyes were; he didn't care about what happened to Jim at this point. He shook hard, unsure what Dwight wanted him to say. Jim didn't want to sleep with Packer or Mose, not at all, but Dwight would be so angry with him, and so disappointed. Jim didn't want to do it but he didn't want Dwight to hate him either.

 

“Okay,” Jim said in a small voice. Dwight smiled.

 

Dwight lied; they did hurt him. Jim wasn't sure why he believed otherwise when Dwight routinely hurt him himself.

 

* * *

 

A week later Dwight texted Jim to come to his barn. Jim had decided to break up with Dwight. Even though he loved him ( _why_ his brain always asked) he absolutely could not put up with Dwight after last week. Jim hadn't been able to get a solid's night sleep since.

 

When he opened the barn door he saw Dwight fucking Angela. It was cruel, the fact that Dwight resorted to this, but Jim couldn't find it in himself to be shocked anymore. He turned and ran.

 

Dwight found Jim at home an hour later crying his eyes out. Jim had forgotten he gave Dwight a key to his place since he never used it. Jim picked up the lamp on the table next to him and chucked it as hard as he could at Dwight. He missed leaving a pissed Dwight standing in a cascade of glass.

 

In a flash Dwight stood over him with his hands on Jim's neck. He couldn't breathe and Dwight pressed for so long that Jim's vision began to spot.

 

“We’re done,” Dwight said coldly and Jim nodded to the best of his ability. Dwight let him go and left. Jim stood and found himself struggling to gain his footing and sense of security.

 

He’s only able to get the former.

 

* * *

 

 Jim went shopping with his mom the next day, hiding the bruises on his neck with a scarf. She looked at him quizzically; it was the beginning of April and in the high forties.

 

"What's wrong Jimmy, you look so down. Is it girl problems?"

 

Jim cringed, never having come out to his mom. Instead he told a half truth. "I had a really rough breakup yesterday. I'm just a bit under the weather." His mom hugged his side and he returned it.

 

“I hope this is only temporary, there’s no girl so great that you need to be hung up on her for long.” Jim squeezed her hand. He hoped she was right, hopefully he'd be out of this funk soon and he’d see how much better he was without Dwight. Jim heard his mother tsking loudly causing him to follow her line of sight. She was staring at a homosexual couple. Jim groaned and pulled her away. "Disgusting, honestly. Don't they know that what they're doing is against the Lord," she steamed. Jim felt his stomach drop. He'd probably never be able to come out to her because he couldn't see her views changing. The thought made Jim nervous.

 

* * *

 

It had been a week since Dwight and Jim broke up. He wasn't taking it well. Jim couldn't remember the last time he had eaten, or even slept. He couldn't focus on work and had lost two clients that week. Worst of all was the fact that Dwight and Angela were now engaged. Jim felt like an insignificant fuck up.

 

Pam pulled him aside and gave him a card for a psychologist. "My sister was like this before. We thought we'd wait the week out to see if she'd get better by herself. That week turned into a month, and that month a year. Then she didn't have any time left."

 

So Jim went for his best friend's sake. His psychologist was nice and told him that nothing that happened was his fault. Jim was hesitant to tell her about his sexual experiences, especially the ones with Packer and Mose, because those  _were_ his fault. He could have said no. At the end of the session she told Jim that she thought he was suffering from depression and PTSD, and that she'd like to see him again. He made an appointment for the following week although he hoped he wouldn't need it; he wanted to be better by then.

 

The following week Jim wasn't doing any better and his clients were dropping like flies. He was worried that he'd be fired soon, all because he couldn't get a handle on his emotions. He went to his psychologist and asked for medication and talked about nothing else. She frowned but referred him to a psychiatrist who could write him a script.

 

The third week he broke down to her and confessed that his ex made him sleep with other people and it had haunted him since. "I can't tell my best friend because I kept the relationship from her, and I can't tell my mom because she'd hate me." She hugged Jim and told him he was brave for coming forward and at least telling her. She gave him numbers for groups for people who've experienced dating violence and sexual trauma. All Jim could do was cry, in disbelief that he told someone.

 

* * *

 

Dwight filed multiple complaints against Jim for pranks he wanted him to perform. Jim was so tired that he couldn't respond properly. What could he say? That he did it because Dwight found it sexy and wouldn't hit him during sex? No one would believe that. Dwight set him up and Jim was starting to believe Dwight  _never_ liked him. That was a scary though, that someone you loved and completely devoted yourself to for two years hated you. It was scarier than what Jim previously thought, that Dwight grew to resent him over the last few months.  _No,_ Jim thought,  _Dwight has always resented me._

 

Michael hustled them both into his office. "I want Jim to transfer," Dwight said, a full blown smile on his face. Jim didn't want to leave, and he wasn't about to let Dwight bully him into it.

 

"No, why should I leave," Jim asked, staring at Michael and not Dwight. He was afraid of what Dwight looked like, how much hatred was emitting from him.

 

"Well, I won't make you. I like you here, kid," Michael said to Jim before stepping out, the camera crew following him. Once Michael left Dwight closed all of the blinds and turned his mic off. He gestured to Jim to do the same and he complied. He didn't need the mics picking up on whatever Dwight was about to say.

 

“Why did you do that Dwight, do you hate me _that_ much,” Jim asked. They had been dating for at least seventy five percent of the complaints, meaning Dwight would write him up right after praising him for his inventiveness, and then fuck him later. Jim realized that Dwight truly hated him and that Dwight played him. Like an idiot Jim fell for it.

 

“Yes. I despise you, Halpert. I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out.”

 

“Why? You told me to prank you, that you found it _hot._ Was it so you could report me, seriously?”

 

“Yes. And you fell for it, dumb ass.”

 

“You told me you love me….”

 

“It was a lie,” Dwight said coldly. Jim shook. He wasted so much of his life on Dwight, but everything was just a game to him. Jim wanted to cry but knew how crazy he'd look once Michael came back.

 

“And…all those things...Todd Packer…,” Jim leaned over and gagged. He gagged to the point that it hurt his throat, but nothing came out. Jim hadn’t eaten in weeks it seemed like, and he was honestly surprised he died.

 

“Because I hate you. Leave.” _This is scary_ Jim thought. Dwight purposely dated him behind Angela's back and made Jim fall in love with him, all for some sick revenge. For what? Jim had no clue!

 

“I don’t want to, my whole life is here—.”

 

“I was your whole life, door knob, and I no longer want you. So leave.” Dwight showed Jim his phone, containing pictures of Jim. He was tied up in some, being spanked in others. There were pictures of Jim with toys up his ass, and ones of him on rest stop floors, covered in cum among other things. There were even pictures of him being fucked by Mose and Packer. There were dozens of pictures, more than fifty at least, and all of them of Jim in lewd positions. Dwight swiped and showed Jim a video of him telling Dwight he loved him. Dwight played it over and over again, just to taunt him. Jim tried throwing up again.

 

“When did you takes these?!”

 

“Every time we were together. You’ve quite pretty when you’re all tied up and begging for my cock, but that’s the only time. You should really leave, unless you want me to distribute these to everyone in this office, and your homophobic mother. I’ll delete them if you do.”

 

It wasn't a hard choice. When Michael came back Jim told him that he wanted to transfer as soon as possible. Michael said the Stamford branch could take him by Monday meaning Jim would spend the rest of the week in Scranton. It wasn't soon enough. Michael processed the paperwork, thoroughly confused the entire time, while Pam sadly helped Jim look for a new apartment. She didn't understand what happened or why Jim and Dwight couldn't work their out differences like they normally did. How could she understand when Jim never told Pam about their relationship to begin with?  _It's my own fault_ Jim thought. He was officially afraid of Dwight, something he'd never thought possible a year ago. It was funny how fast love could turn into horror. He wanted to be as far away from the evil man as possible. Jim felt nothing but revulsion. Some of it directed towards Dwight, but most of it to himself. He couldn't believe that he was with someone so evil, and that he was stupid enough to fall for him.

 

* * *

 

Dwight deleted the pictures as promised, and Jim let out a sigh of relief. Jim was now free to move on with his life, and Dwight his. He left the office after telling Pam and Michael goodbye, and headed to his psychologist. He asked her to transfer him to a psych out in Stamford after explaining his ex successfully forced him out of the state. She was concerned but found him a psychologist who was in network and based in Stamford.

 

“Try to make a blessing out of this nightmare, Jim. This could be a good opportunity for you to move on from your ex, in a place where he can no longer hurt you. It seems sad right now, but this is just another step on your journey of healing.”

 

Jim hugged her knowing this would be the last time he’d see her.

 

* * *

 

 

Jim wanted to kill himself, that much was certain. He didn’t want to move to Stamford but he didn’t want to stay in Scranton either, not when Dwight was there. That left him with one option: dying. He resolved to kill himself later that night but received a phone call from his hysterical mom before he could follow through. The thought was pushed to the back of his mind, Jim being more concerned about comforting his mother.

 

* * *

 

Jim watched the Stamford skyline from the roof of his new apartment building. Stamford seemed nice enough. It was bigger than Scranton and cleaner too. Despite that he thought he’d have a hard time fitting in. He wasn’t in the mood to be social, and if he were honest with himself, he was afraid of most people. Apparently you couldn’t tell what laid beneath their smiling facades. He continued to watch the city, doing his best to keep his eyes on the horizon. It was hard and he often found them drifting downwards. The apartment was ten stories so if he jumped he was sure to die…

 

“Hey!”

 

Jim turned around and saw a stranger approaching him. The man pulled him away from the ledge where he had been standing.

“Are you crazy, what the hell are you doing,” Jim hollered, yanking his arm away. He didn’t want anyone touching him ever again.

“Stopping you from jumping!”

“I was not jumping! Can’t a man stand on the roof of his own building?” The stranger looked unimpressed but Jim didn’t give a shit. He’d probably never see the man again, the building was huge. Jim ran downstairs and to his apartment. He fumbled with his keys long enough to see the stranger walk to the apartment directly across from him. He raised an eyebrow at Jim and smiled before entering his apartment. Jim couldn’t do anything stand there, feeling dumb and embarrassed.

* * *

 

 

Jim felt even dumber and embarrassed on Monday when he realized the stranger from before was Josh Porter, the manager of the Stamford branch. In a city of over one hundred thousand people what were the odds that his new manager lived across the hall from him and thought he was a suicidal lunatic? Pretty fucking high.

* * *

 

Jim avoided going out with his coworkers. They seemed violent and frightening to Jim and he didn’t want them to hurt him. But he found everything violent and frightening these days. He drove four miles out of the way just to get gas because all the stations near his house reminded him of the rest stop where Dwight locked him in his car for hours on end. He didn’t do any kind of shopping in person; he remembered an incident where Dwight forced him to have sex in a Hazleton Target’s dressing room, resulting in the two being banned from there. Now he felt uncomfortable doing something as basic as walking through a store because he thought  _ everyone  _ knew about that time, even when he was over a hundred miles away. He was terrified of Andy, who had anger issues. Jim paranoidly felt that Andy would try to exploit him despite having no evidence that Andy was harmful, or even interested in guys. He was distant from the camera crew here, comprised of people from Scranton. He knew those people and was still afraid of them. He hadn’t made any headway in therapy either because he was afraid of his own psychologist. He only went so the man could give him the meds he needed to function. He was regressing and he knew it, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Dwight really did a number on him.

At least his sales weren’t suffering anymore. Yay for small victories and all that.

 

One night Josh asked Jim for a ride home. He normally biked to and from work but earlier that morning he had hit a piece of glass that left one of his tires fucked. Jim wanted to say no, that he didn’t want people in his space. But that would have been rude, especially when Josh needed help and was his boss. So Jim helped him load his bike into the backseat of his car.

 

Josh offered to make him dinner as thanks but Jim declined. Bad things always happened to Jim when he went to Dwight’s house and he didn’t expect Josh to be any different. The only place Jim was safe was his own bedroom, and that was the only place he wanted to be. Unfortunately Josh couldn’t take no for an answer and came to Jim’s carrying a plate of the food he made. For reasons unknown to him Jim let Josh in, sounding off all of the alarms in his head. They ended up eating in silence and Jim hoped it was awkward enough that Josh never attempted it again.

Josh came over every night afterwards, bringing different food with him.

* * *

 

Jim had been in Stamford for four weeks before Josh finally asked “Dude, are you okay?” Jim gave him the same blank stare he gave him at work, or whenever he invited himself into his home. “You seem down,” Josh continued. “I kinda get the feeling you didn’t want to come here. Is there anything I can do to make your life here more enjoyable?”

“...no.”

“Oh, alright,” Josh said awkwardly. “Do you want to play any video games with me? I have some that aren’t violent, I noticed you don’t like those. Mario kart?” Jim nodded. Josh was astute, he had to admit. Jim didn’t like violent video games although he used to. Now he struggled with them because the violence seemed more tangible. Andy had yelled at him more than once for getting their team killed during office bonding sessions. Josh got up to go get his system and Jim followed him to the door. Josh looked back at him expectantly and Jim realized that Josh wanted him to follow him into his apartment.

 

“I’ll wait right here,” he tried.

“Wouldn’t be easier to just play it at my place,” Josh asked. Jim refused to move. He guessed Josh realized that he wouldn’t follow him because he ran into his apartment and quickly came back with his Wii U and a handful of games.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said. He wouldn’t follow Josh, he couldn’t put himself in the position to be hurt again. Now his boss probably thought he was a weirdo, more so than usual. 

 

“Don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong.” Josh took a seat on the floor, leaving Jim the entire couch. They played Super Smash Bros. for a while before Josh spoke again. “It's not my business, but is there any reason you don’t want to come to my place? I have the best snacks there, I promise.”

 

Jim wasn’t sure why he responded. Maybe he was just itching to tell someone other than his therapist and the occasional emotional support group. Maybe it slipped out. But he did. “I had an abusive ex before coming here. I don’t feel comfortable going anywhere that isn’t my apartment, especially not someone else’s house. I’m sorry.” Josh gave him a guilty look like  _ he  _ did something wrong before trying to pat Jim on the knee. Jim violently flinched away before Josh’s hand could land. “I’m so sorry,” Jim said again, unsurprised by the lack of control over his own body. He couldn’t control his own life, he might as well lose control of his body too.

“You have no reason to be! I shouldn’t have tried touching you, or made you come into my apartment. If...if you don’t mind me asking, is that why you transferred here?”

 

Jim nodded. “Yeah, he uh, he blackmailed me into transferring so he could marry someone else, so I had to leave….” Jim found himself tugging at his hair and stuttering after every word, more proof that his body was no longer his own.

 

“So he worked at Dunder Mifflin with you,” Josh asked. Jim immediately panicked. Jim didn’t want Josh looking up the Scranton branch, didn’t want him finding out who he dated. Jim wanted to leave his mistakes in the past. He couldn’t do that if Josh found out about how big of a gullible whore he was. Josh gave him a small smile , more tense than anything else. Maybe he already knew Jim was a whore and wanted to hear it from his own lips. Instead he said,  “I’m sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve to go through that. Are you seeing anyone, a therapist maybe? I can be a set of ears too, if you want.”

 

“I have a psychologist but he’s scary. I’m supposed to go every week, but it’s hard.”

“I’ll go with you,” Josh volunteers. “He won’t hurt you if I’m in the lobby, right?”

 

“No, I don’t want to inconvenience you, I shouldn’t have said anything!”

“You wouldn’t be. You don’t deserve to live like this, suffering because of what some asshole did. I want to see you get better.” Jim sits quiet for a moment before nodding his head. Josh smiles.

 

Jim sat quiet. As fun as the hermit life was Jim wanted friends. Josh was nice and seemed so genuine in his offer to accompany him. Jim knew he was being illogical by thinking Josh knew anything about him. No one did; like his previous psychologist said this was a fresh start for him. He nodded his head before he knew what he was doing, and Josh smiled back at him.

* * *

 

Josh’s presence made therapy easier that week. Jim could tell his psychologist was pleased because Jim had never spoken that much to him before. Jim told him about the awful stuff Dwight did to him, like forcing him to do sexual acts he didn’t like, and the incident with Mose and Packer. He told him he only realized how fucked up it was in hindsight.

“It’s my fault,” Jim said, trying not to cry. “I should have fought more, or just broken up with him. I did this to myself by being so stupid!”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jim. He raped you.” 

 

Jim shook his head. “He had his friends rape me, but he never did.”

 

His psychologist regarded him sadly. “When someone forces sex or sexual acts on you that you don’t consent to then it’s rape.” Jim denied it again, because while it made sense he didn’t want to believe their entire two year relationship was a ploy for Dwight to repeatedly rape him.

 

“I don’t understand what I did to make him hate me so much!”

“Some people are just evil, Jim. He saw light in you and wanted to crush it. It doesn’t do you any good to try to rationalize his actions. You didn’t do  _ anything  _ to make him hate you, he’s just a hateful person.”

 

Before long Jim’s time was up. He promised to come back the following week, and for the first time since he moved to Stamford he didn’t regret saying it. He stepped out into the lobby where Josh was waiting for him.

* * *

 

Jim was developing a crush on Josh. He found Josh to be handsome, kind, and smart. He went with Jim to therapy and cooked him dinner. Whenever Jim needed something Prime couldn’t send him Josh would go to the nearest store to grab it for him, without being asked. He liked to make sure Jim was asleep at night, and went on sales calls with him even when he had a ton of work at the office.

 

Karen Filipelli, one of his coworkers, joked that Josh had a crush on  _ him.  _ Jim couldn’t understand why, not when he didn’t like himself, and he used to have a high level of self esteem. He couldn’t imagine why anyone else would.

One day after dinner Josh browsed the books on Jim’s small bookshelf. “A book of pranks,” Josh asked from the shelf.

 

“It was my dad’s,” Jim explained. “He used to pull them on me and my mom as his way of showing love; we used to prank him back.” Josh stood at the shelf a bit longer before joining Jim on the couch, leaving Jim to wonder why Josh was so interested in the book to begin with.

 

When they (always they now, since Josh was reluctant to leave his side) came home the next day Jim was pied in the face by a spring placed right behind his door. Jim felt his chest tighten with anxiety and panic. Maybe this was Josh’s way of screwing him over. Maybe he wised up and realized Jim wasn’t worth shit. Maybe he knew. Josh was nowhere to be found, having parted from Jim the moment they arrived to collect his mail (Jim couldn’t wait for him, even standing in the lobby for an extended period of time gave him anxiety attacks. Josh often checked his mail for him). But he tried to think rationally. Josh wouldn’t do that to him so there must have been an explanation for why Jim was dripping whipped cream on the hall carpet. He remembered Josh’s interest in his dad’s prank book and how long he stared at it. Maybe Josh was pranking him? Jim used to prank his friends all the time. It was the same. It was. Jim smiled, trying to convince himself that was the case. He turned at the sound of someone moving towards him and found Josh staring at him, hesitation and regret etched on his face.

Jim decided to chase Josh down the hallway, flinging whip cream from his face at Josh. When he finally caught up with him Jim gave Josh a backhug, surprising himself at how much he wanted to touch him. Josh surprised him too by turning around and kissing him. Despite being with Dwight for two years this was embarrassingly Jim’s first kiss. He couldn’t feel shame however, because after everything that happened Jim was happy to share the moment with Josh, who seemed to care about him.

Jim still had issues going to places that weren’t his home. He still had trouble being outside for an extended period of time. He still struggled with sales calls, even when someone else tagged along with him. He still couldn’t cross the threshold into Josh’s apartment despite the fact that they had been dating for six months. But tonight he would try and they were both excited for it.

 

Jim allowed himself into Josh’s apartment with a key his boyfriend had given him just for the occasion. He walked over to Josh and gave him a back hug. Josh was quiet and before long Jim’s eyes drifted to what Josh was staring at.

 

His pictures. 

 

All of the pictures Dwight said he had gotten rid of.

 

The ones Jim watched him get rid of.

 

Every single one of them printed in color on large, glossy photo paper.

 

Each sporting “Jim’s a whore” in red ink.

Jim was at the door before Josh yanked him back. With nowhere to run Jim slid to his knees and began to cry. He hated for Josh to see him like this, but Josh had now seen Jim so much worse, and he doubted he’d even want him anymore. Jim worked so hard so Josh would never know about his past, that he was a slut, but Jim should have known better. He had no right to be happy after what he did. He was right about going to other people’s homes. “I’m so sorry, Josh! I’m sorry. Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry,” he pleaded. Jim doubted it’d do anything, Josh was probably already over him.

“Hey! You haven’t done anything wrong. This is your sick ex’s fault. You didn’t do anything.”

“No, it is my fault! I let him do this to me! I let him do everything because I’m stupid and I trusted him for no reason.” Jim rocked back and forth rotely while pulling at his hair. Josh gently detangled and held his hands.

“Look, lets go to the police. We can report him, he doesn’t need to get away with this.” Jim shook his head. If he did that then Dwight would tell everyone how big of a whore he was, including his mom.

Josh rocked Jim until he fell asleep from exhaustion. When Jim woke up he was in the safety of his bedroom. He later found out that Josh had destroyed all of the pictures.

* * *

 

  
A month later saw the two of them attending a convention in Philly. Despite a rough start Jim took the incident with the pictures better than he thought possible. Josh didn’t leave him, and no one else seemed to know. He was able to keep the semblance of stability he had. He had gotten a phone call from his mom that he ignored in a panic, but found she only wanted to know his Thanksgiving plans once he called back. He hadn’t planned on going home, not with Dwight in the area, so he invited her to Stamford instead. Josh was excited to meet his mom even though Jim stressed multiple times that he still wasn’t out to her. Josh thought they could change her homophobic views but Jim wasn’t so sure.

 

Josh wasn’t paying any attention to him and instead craned his neck every which way on the lookout for something. Jim grew worried although he wasn’t sure why. The only person he knew there was Josh and Jan, and the latter informed him that the Scranton branch had not been invited. He would be okay.

 

“Jim, it’s good to see you,” said the absolute last person he ever wanted to see. Jim cringed in reaction and tried hiding behind Josh despite the fact that he was taller than his boyfriend. Before Jim could attempt to get a word out he was being whisked away from a bloodied mouth Dwight by Josh. Josh had punched Dwight in front of all of their industry peers for him. Jim couldn’t say he agreed with violence but he was glad his boyfriend saved him from an awkward encounter.

Jim decided to go to the party that Michael threw. He missed the older man; despite all of his eccentricities he was a cool guy.

“Why’d you leave,” Michael asked. “Everyone misses you.”

“I needed a change of pace,” Jim answered back. It wasn’t a lie.

“It had nothing to do with Dwight, right?” Jim sat silent. Instead he hugged Michael and told him how much he missed him, and Pam, and everyone else.

 

“Is everything going well in Stamford,” Michael asked. Jim nodded and told Michael about how he was dating Josh. Michael made a few comments about Jim being gay and Josh stealing him away but otherwise seemed okay with it. “I’m glad you’ve found someone, Jim,” Michael said. “I was worried about you, before you left. You were depressed for an entire month and no one knew what was wrong. Are you over it now?”

 

“Yeah.” He was. He was over his initial breakup with Dwight. Now Jim needed to deal with the fallout of ever being in a relationship with him to begin with.

They hugged once more before Jim departed for the night.

* * *

 

Jim woke up the next day to furious banging on his and Josh’s door. He looked out of the peephole and saw Michael. Annoyed, he opened the door. “Michael, what—,” Michael thrusted a handful of papers at Jim’s chest. It was his pictures,  _ again _ , along with a note that read “Have fun with your whore!” Jim sunk to the ground and drew his knees close to his chest. It was now obvious Dwight had no intention of letting him live his life, even after he ruined it in Scranton. Before he could stop himself he began to cry.

 

“What’s going on,” asked Josh. Jim couldn’t find the words to describe how he managed to let down Josh again by being unable to separate his past from his present. It didn’t take long before Josh clued in because he was pulling on his shoes, threatening to kill Dwight.

 

“I think you’re of better use here,” Michael said. They both helped Jim to the bed, where he laid crying for hours. He wished he stayed home. Nothing good came from straying out of his comfort zone. The world was out to hurt him over his past mistakes, and he only enabled it by showing his face publicly.

Jim managed to cry himself to sleep over the issue, but not before Jan came to visit. She probably wanted to chew them out for not showing up. Jim didn’t give a shit that Dwight was the only Dunder Mifflin rep at the convention. It was probably what he wanted. He had won and could revel in his victory. Luckily Jan was quiet the entire time she was there, which as an uncomfortable amount of time in Jim’s opinion. As he drifted off to sleep he heard Josh, Michael, and Jan speaking in hushed tones. Probably about how he was a dirty whore who’d do anything for affection. Jim decided he’d deal with it in the morning.

 

* * *

Jim had been okayish the first time Dwight targeted him. The second time, not so much. He ended up taking a leave of absence from work and checking himself into a mental facility in downtown Bridgeport. He stayed there for three weeks, trying to get in depth psychiatric help for his problems. However, the entire time he was there Jim thought only about killing himself.  _ I’ll never be able to get away from Dwight, he won’t let me! Stupidstupidstupid! _

He thought about eating a lot of peanut butter since they tended to leave it out as a snack. He was deathly allergic to it, and no one had made sure he didn’t have access to it. They made it too easy. He ate an entire jar of Jif and laid in his bed, waiting for death to come. It never did because the nurses moved him to ER once they realized what he did. He stayed in the ICU for two days, Josh looking at him as if he disappointed him. Jim was sure he had, probably multiple times during their relationship.

Josh visited everyday, sometimes taking the entire day off just to spend it with Jim. Jim was starting to wish Josh would let him go, he and his mom were the only things keeping him around. He hated thinking he disappointed Josh by trying to die, but he hated the thought of living even more. Regardless, Jim put in his best effort to complete his treatment, and didn’t attempt to take his life again.

On the day before he was set to be released Josh visited bearing bad news. “I think I’m done here in Connecticut, Jim.”

“Oh?”

“There’s nothing left for me here, the Stamford branch is shutting down.” Jim’s eyes widen; they all thought their branch was safe. Now everyone was unemployed, or needed to transfer. Jim bit his lip.

“Why? What happened? I thought Jan said our branch wasn’t closing?”

“She did...but I got a better job offer somewhere else. Apparently a few companies took notice of me at the convention and offered me interviews. One of which was Staples, as the head of Northeast operations. She was upset, and closed the Stamford branch instead.”

“So, you sold out our coworkers for a better job,” Jim asked warily. Josh gave him a tight smile. “They would be out of a job soon anyway, Dunder Mifflin is a mess. I foresee more branches closing within the next year or so.” Jim couldn’t argue with that.

“So you’re going to New York City? That’s great! You must be making a lot of money now,” Jim said. He steeled himself for their inevitable breakup. Josh would have better options in New York and wouldn’t have to worry about some suicidal podunk kid with emotional damage.

“Yeah, I’d be making seven figures. Never thought I’d see the day,” Josh laughed. Jim gave him a round of applause.

“So, this is it then…,” Jim started. “Nothing left in Connecticut right?” Josh nodded. “That means me too, right.” Josh nodded again. Jim didn’t pretend that didn’t hurt. He should have expected it, he wasn’t worth keeping around. Dwight left him for Angela, and now Josh was leaving him for Staples.

“Right, because you’re coming to New York with me. You wouldn’t be in Connecticut, therefore there’s nothing here for me.” He smiled at Jim, and Jim found himself smiling back.

 

* * *

Jim was doing a lot better now, to the point he could say he was actually happy. He moved to New York City with Josh five months ago, and the two lived well enough that Jim didn’t need to work anymore. Instead, he spent his time continuing his treatment with a psychologist in the city, while volunteering at a non-profit organization. It seemed that exiting the paper business was doing good for his psyche because he found himself thinking about Dwight and those pictures less and less.The stay in the hospital helped too; the doctors there were able to get him the correct dosages of medication to help control his depression.

He had gotten back in touch with Pam after he left the hospital. She was his best friend and he had missed her dearly. He was glad to speak with her, although he cryptically told her not to inform anyone else in the office—sans Michael— that they were speaking. He didn’t want Dwight knowing he was talking to her, and he wasn’t ready to tell her what happened between them. Pam told Jim that she and Roy had gotten married sometime ago, and that things between them were going well. Michael fired Todd Packer, although she wasn’t sure why (Jim had a guess). Dwight and Angela had broken up, and Angela moved to Pittsburgh to get away from him.

“Why’d she do that, did things end sourly between them?” Jim grew concerned for Angela, hopefully Dwight wasn’t bothering her the same way he had Jim.

“I don’t think so. She just got fed up with him, and wanted a change of pace. Kinda like you.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure what happened, but Dwight made you transfer, and then Angela left. It seems like people couldn’t wait to get away from him.” Jim breathed a sigh of relief, worried that Pam knew why he had to transfer.

They spoke on the phone sometimes, but mostly texted. Jim told her all about Josh and how much he loved him. It felt good being able to share his relationship with someone, especially his best friend.

Everything was going good for Jim, finally.

* * *

 

They had only lived in the city for six months, but Jim and Josh already had a favorite restaurant. It was a quaint little diner in Greenpoint, still family owned despite all the changes in the neighborhood. They had a pre-standing date every Wednesday at the diner, when Jim would meet Josh there after he was done with his NGO, and Josh work. Today Jim was running a bit behind since everyone at work had inane questions to ask him. He stepped out of his Uber and saw the restaurant was closed.  _ Weird, didn’t Josh say he was already here? _

The door was open so Jim entered the dark restaurant. It wasn’t entirely dark because there were candles everywhere. Jim grew confused, not expecting such a dichotomous shift from a greasy dinner in Brooklyn. He saw Josh standing in the middle of the diner. He gestured for Jim to come over and sit.

“Josh, what is all of this?” Instead of an answer Josh got down on one knee.

“When you put in a request for additional help from the corporate office you don’t expect to meet the love of your life, or even someone competent. But I did—the love of my life part, although you were very competent too! As corny as it sounds, I think I fell in love with you at first sight. I liked everything about you, your hair, your eyes, your rare smiles. I liked how you could make others laugh, even if your weren’t up to laughing yourself. I know the past two years haven’t been easy for you but I think it allowed us to grow closer in ways we wouldn’t have otherwise. It’s been an honor to watch you grow, and get better. I really love you. So, will you, James Duncan Halpert, do my the honor of becoming my husband?”

Jim felt tears coming from his eyes before he even registered them. He couldn’t believe after all the shit he put Josh through he still wanted him. Wanted him enough to marry him. “Yes!” Jim said weakly. Josh slipped a silver band onto Jim’s ring finger before standing up and pulling him into a kiss. The staff around them clapped and cheered for their engagement, and Jim had never been happier.

 

* * *

Jim told Pam that he was engaged now. He’d never blame her for anything, but he later realized how much of a mistake that was.

* * *

 

 

Jim needed to figure out how to tell his mom he was marrying a man. He really wanted her to be there, maybe walk him down the aisle. She had started watching Rupaul’s Drag Race and didn’t seem to hate the queens on the show, so Jim took it as a sign that her views were changing.

One day Jim received a call from her. He was at home alone while Josh was on a business trip. He’d be home in a day, and Jim missed him dearly. He wondered what he could do as a surprise for when his fiancé got back. He felt his phone ringing and answered it, excited to speak with his mom.

“Hey mom, I was just thinking about you—.”

“You sick fuck,” she yelled into the receiver. Jim cringed and held the phone away from his ear. “You fucking disgusting creep! How could you do something like this? Prostitute yourself to men and allow them to take to take photos of you with their dicks up your shit hole!”

What the fuck. 

 

Jim could feel the panic rising in his throat, the color draining from his face.  _ Dwight _ . The man would never let him be happy, not even for a moment.

“What are you talking about,” he tried, hoping to dissuade her into thinking the pictures weren’t him.

“Don’t play dumb, Jim! I know this is you! There was a video with it, of you telling one of your johns you loved him. Is this what you’ve been up to since you moved away, or did you have to skip town after letting every man fuck you!”  Jim slid to the ground, not believing this was happening again. He felt a panic attack bubbling up, so intense that none of the exercises that he learned could contain it. He was crying, and he was sure his mother could hear him.

“Are you a queer, Jim,” she slurred out, obviously drunk. “Are you a faggot?!”

“...yes,” he whispered, and she let out a bloodcurdling scream. 

 

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad your father is dead! I’d hate for him to see how much of a disappointment you’ve turned out to be! You didn’t come from me because I didn’t raise you to be this way. I don’t ever want to hear from you again, Jim. I hate you!” His mother hung up.

Everything felt so dark and bleak. Jim only had two people in the world, his mother and Josh, and now one of them hated him.

No matter how hard he tried Jim couldn’t break free from Dwight. More than a year later he was still being antagonized by Dwight, and why? Because Dwight just didn’t like him! He’d raped, and bullied, and systematically destroyed Jim, but it wasn’t enough for Dwight. He’d follow him everywhere he went, just to make sure he was unhappy. He’d let Jim have moments of fleeting joy, to make him unaware of his next move. It was a game of cat and mouse, and the cat caught him every time. Jim couldn’t live like this, always wondering when Dwight would strike next. Would he send the pictures to the NGO he volunteered at? Would he send them to everyone at Dunder Mifflin, including corporate? Would he send them to Staples to try to get Josh fired? Jim curled in on himself, truly afraid that the latter was Dwight’s next move. There wasn’t anything Jim could do to protect Josh from his dumb decision except die.

Jim left a note for Josh on the countertop of their apartment. Josh was successful and wealthy now, and handsome and kind to boot. He’d find someone else to replace Jim soon enough, and hopefully they didn’t cause as much trouble for Josh as Jim did.

Jim didn’t waste any time planning, he knew how he’d go out. He wrapped his belt around his neck, and hooked the end to the rod in the front closet. He kicked the stool out from under himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later, Jim’s mom left him a voice message.

_ Hey Jim, I’m so sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m not sure where these pictures came from or who send them, but I don’t care. I love you, honey. I don’t care if you’re gay or not, I just want you to be happy. It was out of line for me to say that your father would be ashamed of you. He’d be proud. You’ve gone off into the world and are succeeding more than we ever could. That’s all we wanted for you. So I don’t care if you like men, because you’re still the same ole Jim who’d run and talk to strangers as a kid, or try pranking me as a teen. When relooking at the pictures I didn’t consider you were probably being hurt when these were taken. Were you being hurt? Is that why you left town? I’m so sorry baby, I feel like such a bad mom for letting you down. I was drunk and angry last night and I took it out on you. I understand it if you don’t forgive me, but just know that I love you very much. Please call me back when you get the chance. _

Jim never got the message.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is the first fanfic I’ve completed. Sucks that it was for such a disturbing topic. Now I’m free to work on my other fics, they’ve been neglected while I worked on this baby. One day I’ll write a fic where Jim isn’t going through a hard time, I promise! 
> 
>  
> 
> Please read, kudo, and review!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this fic, it was an idea swimming in my head, and I figure since it was shorter than my other two fics (this one being only two chapters) that I'd get it out right now. The next chapter is the same story but from Jim's perspective, so expect that to be a train wreck of heart break too. 
> 
> I'm starting to think I secretly hate Jim too, between my three fics I've put him through the ringer. :(
> 
> Please read and review!


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